How To Deal With Unsupportive Family Members?
Unsupportive friends and relatives might be difficult when you're sad. It's critical to have individuals in your life who either understand or are ready to attempt to help you. It's easy to get disheartened if friends and relatives are unsupportive, blaming you for your illness's symptoms or making ignorant comments. What can you do when the ones who should be your biggest cheerleaders aren't? Lack of support from your social network may be difficult, but there are steps you can do to get the help and understanding you need.
Recognize Not Everyone Is Aware
Recognize that their sentiments may have a rationale that has nothing to do with you. There are several reasons why a person may be unable to comprehend an illness such as depression. It's possible that their conduct toward you is deeply established and instinctive, and has little to do with you as a person.
Perhaps they were raised in an atmosphere where it was seen undesirable to express weakness. Perhaps the continuous and pervasive stigma around mental illness has impacted their thinking.
Unsupportive relatives and friends may just need education on your depression so that they may better comprehend your situation. There are many tools available to educate family members, including websites like NAMI and Mental Health America, as well as local family education initiatives like NAMI's great “Family to Family” program.
Take Care Of Yourself
Starting with yourself may be one of the most effective ways to locate the help you need. Be your own biggest cheerleader. Maintain a good self-talk pattern by being kind and patient with yourself. To put it another way, pay attention to what your inner voice is saying about you. If your self-talk is extremely negative, for example, you may be causing yourself additional tension and worry. Maintain a positive tone in these continuous dialogues, even if it takes repeating optimistic mantras every day until it becomes second nature.
Look for methods to flip those ideas around or disrupt the loop if you find yourself stuck in a negative thinking cycle, repeating negative things about yourself or obsessing on things that have gone wrong. Finding strategies to divert your attention might also be beneficial. You may also treat yourself properly by searching for ways to take care of yourself, such as doing activities that boost your mood or taking care of your body. Because self-care is so individual, begin by developing a list of the things you appreciate but may consider a luxury, such as:
- Relaxing in a hot bath
- Reading a good book
- Making a bullet journal
- Taking a nap in the afternoon
- Having a conversation with a buddy
- Listening to a podcast
- Taking a relaxing stroll around the park
Then figure out how to make time for these things. Learning to take care of yourself in tiny ways will not only make you feel better but will also enable you to take charge of your health and emotions. Similarly, self-care allows you to divert some of your attention away from how unsupportive particular individuals are by focusing on something nice for yourself.
Myths About Depression Shouldn't Be Believed
Don't believe the stereotypes about depression. Depression is not an indication of immaturity or indifference. It's a physiologically based sickness that's most likely caused by chemical imbalances in your brain that control your mood. When you ask for assistance, you are not looking for attention.
You're just trying to figure out how to stay alive till you can get well. Keep these realities in mind no matter what anybody else says to you. It takes a lot of bravery to seek assistance. As a result, keep asking questions until you locate the proper individual for the job.
Recognize That Others May Be Having Difficulties
Accept that some individuals may sympathize with your position but are unable to help you actively. A buddy who is coping with their own depression and is unable to contribute anything else to others is a perfect illustration of this predicament. When people are trying to deal with their own difficulties or emotions, they may be unable to provide assistance. It's not that they don't care about you; they just don't have the internal resources to do more than look for themselves at this moment.
When people disappoint you or are unable to be there for you, keep this in mind. The majority of the time, their lack of availability or concern is due to them rather than you. Try not to take it personally or to believe they are uninterested in you.
Look For Help In Other Places
When close friends and family are unable to provide what you need, it might be beneficial to seek out those who can. Support groups for depression, whether in person or online, might be a good place to start. Although members of support groups may first seem to be strangers, friendships are typically developed quickly because you have a shared experience with depression.
After all, there's nothing like conversing with someone who understands what you're going through to make you feel better. Don't be afraid to seek support from anyone other than your family and friends. It's often simpler to communicate your problems with a stranger, particularly if they've gone through similar experiences since there's less fear of being judged or condemned.
Directly Request Assistance
Don't be hesitant to request what you really need. There may be times when individuals are more than eager to help and support you if they comprehend what you need. They may not realize how awful you're doing since they're used to you being the strong one.
Or maybe they've never considered how much you'd love it if they volunteered to babysit your kids for a few hours. Inquire if there is anything you need or want assistance with. Many people want to help you, yet they have no idea what you may need. You are more likely to get the help you need if you are explicit and straightforward.
Put A Stop To Negative Relationships
Remove bad individuals from your life or discover strategies to lessen the impact. There will always be those individuals who are malicious and spiteful, no matter what you do. Remove them from your life if at all possible. If you can't break up with them, find a strategy to minimize your contact with them or defend yourself against their insensitivity.
Form an alliance with your more sympathetic relatives, or plan a few snappy comebacks ahead of time, if a relative is continually making some type of caustic comment during family gatherings. It's also a good idea to talk to your counsellor or therapist about your problems. They may be able to assist you in determining the best course of action.
Use Your Emotions To Help Others
Make the most of your rage towards the other person. Rather of focusing your rage on yourself and berating yourself for your shortcomings, put it into something constructive. Get some exercise; break a few pieces of ceramic tile and make a lovely mosaic; or clean your home thoroughly. Find a physical activity that can help you release your pent-up emotions. 5 You'll be able to blow off steam while also doing something nice for yourself.
When you don't have the support of your friends and family, it's much more difficult to cope with depression. There are things you can do, such as being straightforward in your requests for assistance, but sometimes the greatest thing you can do is seek aid from individuals who understand what you're going through.
If the people in your life aren't providing you with the love and support you need, consider expanding your social support circle by obtaining professional treatment or joining an online or in-person support group.
Your family and friends would always be supportive of your kid who learns and thinks differently in an ideal world. They'd be sympathetic to your child's—and your own—needs. They'd politely inquire about how things are doing at school and the resources available to your youngster. They'd also follow up with you and provide continuous help.
Family and friends, on the other hand, aren't always as helpful as they might be. Perhaps your family and acquaintances are just unaware of your child's peculiarities. Or maybe they refuse to believe a diagnosis. They may make quick judgements based on how your youngster speaks or behaves. Alternatively, they may harshly (and unjustly) criticize your parenting.
Friends and Family Have Let You Down
It may be a blow when relatives or friends say hurtful things or attempt to interfere with your parenting. These are the folks you wanted to be able to rely on. You may believe:
- “They'll never know who my kid is at his core.”
- “They have an incorrect understanding of this typical learning difference.”
- “I was concerned that dealing with other children might be difficult. But I wasn't expecting grownups to be that callous.”
- “I'm unhappy that our bond wasn't as strong as I had hoped.”
- “I was under the impression that I mattered more to this individual.”
How To Deal With Unsupportive Family And Friends
When friends and family aren't supportive, it's natural to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. However, it's likely that they don't intend to be insensitive or harsh. Here are some suggestions for improving the situation:
- Provide them with information. If your friend or family doesn't understand your child's difficulties, attempt to gently educate them. It is not necessary for you to go into extensive detail regarding your child's experiences. Give them just enough information to understand the differences and what your family is doing to help your kid.
- Seek out allies. First, speak with those in your family or group of friends who are supportive of your kid. They may then disseminate the message to individuals who are less sensitive, with your consent.
- Have a one-on-one conversation. When you speak with someone one-on-one, you have a better chance of getting their undivided attention. Then they'll be able to directly question you.
- Provide your youngster with a script as well. Work with your kid to come up with a concise reason to provide when someone is being insensitive: “I have difficulties keeping focused, and my resource teacher is helping me with that.” But wait till you see me on the soccer pitch!”
- Face them down. It's OK to be a bit harsher if offensive remarks persist. “Thanks for your concern in Noah's situation,” you don't have to apologize for trying to halt nasty individuals in their tracks. But he's our kid, and we'll handle things ourselves. We'd prefer it if you stopped talking about him.”
- Stay away from them. If all else fails, avoid interacting with an offending family or acquaintance. Spend more time conversing with others who recognize and appreciate your child's abilities instead.
- Making connections with other parents and caregivers who understand what you're going through might be beneficial. Our community is one approach to do this. You could discover that their experience is similar to yours, and you can share experiences and suggestions with one other.
To begin with, don't feel terrible if your friends and family aren't on board with your aspirations. It doesn't imply your ambitions aren't worthy just because others don't support you. They are, if anything, more vital than everything you've ever desired to accomplish!
When pursuing huge aspirations, it's usual to encounter opposition. This is particularly true if the people around you are fearful. For example, they may be uninterested in pursuing higher goals in life. Perhaps they are just interested in taking one certain route in life, rather than considering all of life's alternatives.
After that, let's talk about what you mean by “unsupportive.” To you, who is an unsupportive person? Is there someone in your life who (a) deliberately inhibits you from achieving your goals? Is it someone who (b) is neutral, possibly a little dismissive of what you're doing, and doesn't aggressively offer assistance?
It's worth noting that the boyfriend offered a listening ear, which is a kind of assistance – moral support. Jane believes her partner is unsupportive since he has not offered assistance, such as with the start-up of her company. He also didn't provide any advice on how she might grow her company.
However, it's conceivable that he didn't do so since she didn't request it. It's also likely that he has little experience with photography or company management and hence avoided making any advice for fear of being useless.
Increased Reliance On Others As A Result Of Uncertainty
When we pursue things that are important to us or are completely new to us, we may feel more sensitive and vulnerable than usual since we're in unfamiliar terrain, prompting us to seek more validation and support from others than usual. As a result, we become increasingly dependent on our current connections to meet our needs. And when others around us do not give enough validation and support, we assume they are unsupportive.
This, however, may not be the case. It's possible that our friends and relatives aren't attempting to be unsupportive; they're just acting in a certain manner. There might be other factors as well. It's possible that they're too preoccupied with other things in their lives right now to provide you with the type of help you need. It's also possible that they aren't aware that you are seeking assistance from them.
Three Issues With Expecting Consistent, Complete Support From Others
- The first step is to acknowledge that you cannot expect complete support from your friends and family for every single project you seek. This is because these individuals are dealing with other issues in their lives, such as troubles. This means they may not always be able to provide you with the assistance you need.
- Another way to look at it is as follows: Would you enjoy it if your friends and family members constantly complained that you weren't supporting them enough in their endeavours (regardless of whether you were or weren't)? You could even be perplexed as to why they are so needy, demanding, and high-maintenance.
- The second problem is that it puts undue strain on your relationships with them since you are too dependent on them for assistance. If it worries you that your friends and family don't actively support you while you work on your objectives, it's possible that you're expecting more from them than they can provide (at this moment). This points to an imbalanced interpersonal dynamic that needs to be investigated.
- The third point to consider is that they may not be able to assist you, particularly if the assistance you want is intellectual (ideas) and resource-related (contacts, money). They may not be qualified to give you advice on it. They could not have the resources you need to achieve your objective.
Conclusion – What You Can Do: Redirect Your Needs for Assistance
- Identify Your Assistance Requirements
- Figure out how you can reroute these needs… and Get to Work On Them
- Have a heart-to-heart with those who are most important to you.
I trust you enjoyed this article on How To Deal With Unsupportive Family Members. Would you please stay tuned for more articles to come? Take care!
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